Unicorns. Dragons. Gryphons. Liberal Christian Americans. All mythical creatures. Well, maybe a unicorn could exist, but a liberal Christian? In the United States? Don’t be ridiculous.

For many years, I too believed that liberal Christians didn’t exist. I was a Christian; therefore, I must be a Republican. Frances Schaeffer, Jimmy Falwell and the Christian coalition had succeeded so thoroughly that for decades, many Christians just took it for granted: Christian=conservative.

Pro-life.

Pro-death penalty.

Anti-welfare.

Anti-tax.

Pro-gun.

Pro-war.

Anti-government.

I maintained my Republican club status through college, voted for George H.W. Bush and Bob Dole. In fact, in the first 4 elections for which I was eligible to vote, I voted a straight-party ticket - all Republican.

Now my ultra-conservative uncle (who married into the family AFTER my escape from the GOP) always insists that it must’ve been grad school and becoming a college lecturer that turned me into a liberal. Those ivory-tower, academic elitists brainwashed me!

In fact, I kept voting for Republicans through most of grad school. No, it wasn’t the academics who turned me around. It was the ultra-right-wing conservative Christians with whom I worked at an insurance company.

When I left my little shrinking bubble of intelligent, fiscally-responsible Goldwater-type Republicans and entered the world of finance, I was appalled to see what conservative Republicans were becoming: greedy, homophobic, militant, theocratic, paranoid, hypocrites. The men I worked with had horrific conversations in loud voices they felt no need to keep down; they talked about how to avoid paying claims to people who’d paid their insurance premiums for 50 years. They talked about how to sell insurance policies to migrant workers who could barely buy food, couldn’t understand the contract in English and whose agents convinced them insurance was kind of like winning the lottery. They talked about adding questions to the applications so they could make sure they weren’t selling to any gay men who were going to get AIDS (because that’s God’ punishment for being gay, of course) and die before the insurance could make a profit. They worried constantly about what the government was going to do that might cut into their enormous paychecks. They passed company rules that no children could be brought into the office. They went golfing and went to Vegas and Hawaii and Orlando on the company dime and paid the women (the employees were about 65% female though all the VPs, CEO and board members were male) who actually did the work next to nothing.

But they all went to church.

And they encouraged all of us to do the same. One VP’s standard Monday morning question to everyone in his section was, “How was church yesterday?” I sat outside his office for four years. He never bothered to learn my name.

So I left. Not just the company, but also the political party. For a while, I tried being an independent. I voted for some Green Party candidates. That felt hopeless. Then I thought I’d try Libertarian. I read Ayn Rand. She made me nauseous. So I tried being a *GASP* Democrat. That was certainly easier than any of the others, but the Democrats did (and still do) stupid things that upset my need for fiscal responsibility. Plus, I felt like I was abandoning my faith. As my Republican family and friends reminded me, “Good Christians are not Democrats!”

And I think they’re right. Good Christians are not Democrats. Nor are they Republicans. And CERTAINLY not Libertarian! (Have YOU read Ayn Rand?!)

Good Christians try to follow Jesus. And Jesus didn’t belong to a political party. So neither do we.

But Jesus did have some things to say about many of the points on the political agendas of our two major parties:

Forgive each other. (Matthew 18:22)
Love each other. (John 15:9-17)
Heal each other. (Matthew 10:1)
Pay your taxes. (Matthew 17:24)
Let God mete out the punishments. (Matthew 5:39)
Don’t be violent. (Luke 22:51)
Politics and government are necessary in this world, but this world is temporary. (Mark 12:17)
Don’t be greedy.(John 2:15)

None of those things were coming out of the mouths of any Republicans I knew. The Christian Right (and it’s a fairly new phenomenon whose advent has been brilliantly chronicled by Frank Schaeffer, one of its founders) is full of angry people. Militantly angry. They have guns. They love their guns. They hate abortion doctors and women who have abortions. They don’t like gays. They don’t like Democratic politicians (somehow their hatred of the government dials WAY down when their party has power). They don’t trust anyone with darker skin with theirs, especially if those people can speak Spanish! (Never mind if they’re bilingual - it’s the Spanish they hate.) They don’t trust anyone with more education than they have. They want their money - all of it. Taxes are a criminal imposition on their hard work. (I guess they don’t drive on tax-funded streets, ever need help from a police officer or care if we’re invaded by another country.) Their voices are loud. If you try to point out an inconsistency in their logic (and there are many) or an hypocrisy in their faith, they’ll just talk louder.

And there’s the rub.

They’re loud. They talk in cute, glib little sound bites that are easy to remember. (And they have guns.) So they get the microphone. They get heard, and everyone assumes that the people in the Christian Right who are making the most noise must represent all Christians. They say they do. Actually they shout it. And wave their guns. Better listen.

Those of us on the Christian Left tend to talk more quietly. Sure, we get angry too. But because we really are trying to follow Jesus (you know, the guy who let people treat him terribly and never lost his temper except that one time when he got mad at - who was that? Oh, yeah! Moneylenders!), we try to keep our tempers. (And most of us don’t have guns. Jesus didn’t either.) We don’t get much attention in a loud, garish American society where loud, garish people like Donald Trump and Ted Nugent gobble up the spotlight.

But we’re here. Liberal American Christians do exist. We love everyone. We want to help as many people as we can. We don’t want to hurt anyone, even if they disagree with us, speak a different language from us or worship differently than we do.

We’re quiet, though. You may have to come close to hear us over the noise.

I ran into one of my favorite former students on campus a couple days ago. It was an unnervingly warm day for February in Indiana, so we sat outside in the Quad, eating our lunches. After a while, our talk turned to politics.

ME: Are you following the GOP debates?

HIM: No. It’s a freak show.

ME: I thought you were a conservative.

HIM: (shrugging) More of a libertarian, really. I like Ron Paul, but there’s no way the GOP’s going to nominate him. Gingrich is an a**hole. Santorum scares me with all his Jesus-speak, and Romney’s okay, but he keeps moving right to cater to the base. Plus he’s inconsistent.

ME: So who’re you going to vote for in November?

HIM: No one. I mean, Obama’s cool. He’s a great speaker, and I think he probably has good intentions, but he’s tanking the economy. I can’t vote for that. And I’m not voting for anybody the GOP’s got right now. Maybe Chris Christie will jump in. That’d be good.

ME: You could always write in Ron Paul.

HIM: Waste of my time on a perfectly good Tuesday.

I like this student a lot. He is smart. He thinks for himself and looks at things from multiple perspectives before he comes to a conclusion. I actually enjoyed reading his essays. And our conversation yesterday summarized a phenomenon I’ve noticed in many of the smart twenty-somethings I know.

Neither current political party appeals to them.

The generation that is currently in college is intriguing. Despite the bad press they get, I like them. Generally speaking, they are savvy in many ways that previous generations have never been. They read and write constantly, even if it is only in Facebook posts and text messages. They have high expectations of everyone, including themselves. They recognize hypocrisy and inconsistency pretty quickly. They are comfortable with technology, but they truly appreciate frank, one-on-one interaction. In fact, they lap it up like thirsty Labradors!

Now they certainly have their flaws. They are impatient. They are jaded. They are distracted. But they know they are. Almost to a man, they are highly self-aware. In my freshman composition classes, I use a book by Dr. Jean Twenge called Generation Me that is basically a 300-page criticism of these students, and they readily admit that most of her points are completely valid. “Yep, that’s us. We’re a hot mess. What’s next?”

Personally, I will be fascinated to observe what this generation makes of the world they will inherit. Many of them do not remember a world before 9/11. In their minds, the Soviet Union, the Berlin Wall and Ronald Reagan are equivalent to Prussia, the War of the Roses and Henry VIII, historically speaking. They have grown up on the Internet. Many of them have never looked anything up in a printed encyclopedia. Where will these kids take us? What changes will they make? Perhaps more importantly, how will the rest of us adapt to THEIR world?

One thing is for sure, the current two-party American political system leaves them cold. Here is a summary of what I hear from them:

DEMOCRATS=high taxes, high debt, empowering lazy people

REPUBLICANS=Bible-thumpers, bigots, homophobic war-mongers

In short, neither party offers these young people the things they value. This generation will likely have the largest percentage of college graduates in history. They will be educated, and they will expect to be financially independent. And as I said, they have high expectations of others too. They have been raised by Reagan Republicans who taught them that poor people are just lazy and don’t deserve help. So this generation has little to no appreciation of public subsidies, certainly not welfare. But here’s the rub: they also don’t care much for Social Security. They know they’ll never see a dime of it. Why should they pay taxes so the Baby Boomers can retire in relative comfort? If the Tea Party heard my students talk, they’d be quaking in their boots. These kids will yank it all: Medicare, Social Security, disability, welfare, food stamps. You want to talk about Death Panels? These kids will pull Grandma out on the streets: “Hey, she should have saved while she was young like we are!”

So they’re ultra-conservative, right? Good news for the right-wing Republicans! The next generation will usher in a new GOP majority!

Not so fast.

These kids hate the right-wingers too. Especially the Christian Right.

A dwindling percentage of my students have ever attended a church with any regularity, and they resent being told that they live in a “Christian nation.” They’ve been raised by working moms who make less than men in the same positions, and they’ve heard all about gender inequality. They’ve grown up with “Will and Grace,” “RuPaul’s Drag Race,” and Ellen DeGeneres as a Cover Girl; gay people are cool. They’ve idolized LeBron James, Jay-Z and Shakira. They’ve seen a black Secretary of Defense, an Hispanic female Supreme Court justice and a black president; racism is passe. These young people also aren’t big on the idea of being sent off to fight and die just because old white guys in suits tell them, “Those brown people are bad!” What’s more, these kids don’t really trust the Republicans’ claim of fiscal responsibility and small government. They grew up watching George W. Bush blow that myth sky high.

They are libertarians, although some of them may not know it yet. And it will be very interesting to see which party blinks first, but one thing’s for sure: something is going to change in our political system. Maybe the Democrats will stop their tax-and-spend nonsense to cater to this upcoming voter bloc. Maybe the Republicans will back off their aggressive, outdated, social fascism to bring these kids into the GOP.  Or maybe we’ll end up with a viable third party. (Which would be HEAVENLY to most of us in the middle!)

As the Baby Boomers die off, though, this group is eventually going to be the biggest voting bloc, certainly bigger than my generation. And change is coming. It will be fascinating and scary and, perhaps, a very good thing for our country.

Or not.

Help! I’m being attacked by Christians in Denver Broncos jerseys!

Okay, maybe I should start at the beginning. In the beginning, there was a kid in Florida who was really good at football. So good, in fact, that he got a scholarship to play at the University of Florida. He was also raised as a good Christian boy; he was actually born in the Philippines while his parents were serving as missionaries there. While he played for the Florida Gators, he liked to write the words “John 3:16″ on his eye-black. He also liked to kneel in prayer after big plays. Although he lost the SEC Championship game in 2009, he led his team to a Sugar Bowl victory in 2010. And it was good.

Then, Tim Tebow graduated from college. He entered the NFL draft and was picked up by the Denver Broncos. Much to his fans’ dismay, however, he wasn’t the starter. The Broncos stuck with Kyle Orton, with Tebow coming off the bench. In his rookie year, he played 6 games as a back-up before starting the last 3 of the season. Orton was still the starter for the first few games of the 2011 season. In the sixth week of the season, though, Tebow got the starting job. He went 5-0 before losing to the New England Patriots.

Tebow’s fans were ecstatic.

But on January 8, 2012, in the first-round playoff game against the dreaded Pittsburgh Steelers, Tim Tebow threw for 316 yards, leading his team to a come-from-behind victory.

And that’s where my story actually begins.

Because that’s when the fans lost their minds, especially the Christian fans.

If you’ve read my blog before, you know I’m a Christian. You may also know that I’m a football fan. I guess I’ve never had much call to say it before, but I’ll say it now: my faith and my football don’t really mix. Oh sure, I make jokes about Bill Belichick being the anti-Christ. I may laughingly beg God to give my poor Colts a victory, but I think He has much more important things to do than watch football.

Sunday night, though, my Facebook page was lit up with posts about the miraculous Tim Tebow and his 316 yards, his 31.6 yards per completion.  Surely, God was showing His favor. Surely, it was a sign from Heaven, a reminder of the John 3:16 verse that the NFL won’t allow Tebow to paint on his eye-black!

Oh my.

I’ve followed Tebow’s career since his first Sports Illustrated cover in 2008, which I discovered in a bachelor friend’s house one day. The story was sweet. The kid seemed like a positive role model, which Lord knows we sorely need, especially in sports. I do not like the Florida Gators, but I liked him.

His public displays of affection for God bothered me a little. They reminded me of Matthew, chapter 6: “And when you pray, do not be like the hypocrites, for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and on the street corners to be seen by men. I tell you the truth, they have received their reward in full.”

My Christian friends, however, kept coming back to that old standby argument: He’s a good role model. He’s bringing people to Christ by testifying.

Yes. That’s very nice. If Tim Tebow’s Biblical eye-black and public kneeling can convince a few people that Christianity is the way to go, great.

For me, it is far too simple. The people who might be persuaded by Tebow’s actions must be blank slates, perhaps young people, who simply haven’t heard the word of God. Tebow’s testifying may be all they need. Wonderful.

Those people are pretty rare these days, though, especially in the U.S., where Christian teachings and scriptural references are everywhere already. An American who is watching football is highly unlikely to hear the word of God for the first time from Tim Tebow.

So that leaves us with two other groups: the Christians and the more mature non-Christians. Most Christians LOVE Tim Tebow, almost to the point of idolatry, as evidenced by the posts on my Facebook wall.

And the more mature non-Christians? The people who have been hardened against Christianity by what they see as proof of God’s non-existence because their lives have been brutal? The people who have been hardened against Christianity by Christians who professed one thing but did something completely different, completely awful? How do they feel about Tebow and his rabid followers?

I can tell you they are not impressed. I know this because I do not live in a Christian vacuum as many of my friends do. I’m married to an agnostic. I have many atheist, Jewish, Muslim friends. And they are completely indifferent to Tim Tebow. What’s worse - the crazy hero-worship and superstitious numerology currently swirling around Tebow right now is actually driving some of these souls further away from Christ. Like the sad, misguided folks who see Jesus in a piece of toast, the Tebow maniacs are leaving non-believers shaking their heads.

Christianity is supposed to be about bringing others to Jesus, but Christians are so excited about what they perceive as God’s chosen team winning against the Steelers, they are blind to the damage they are inflicting. God is not a football fan. Statistics do not prove the existence of His hand.

But don’t tell them that.

They will attack you. They will surround their precious Tebow idol and swipe at you angrily. The numbers don’t lie! The numbers tell the truth! John 3:16! John 3:16!

Okay, so I’ve got questions then.

• The Bible warns us against superstition. Is Tebow numerology an exemption from this restriction?
• If I see the number 15 (Tebow’s jersey number) on a potato, am I allowed to eat it?
• What if my team is playing the Broncos? Am I still allowed to root for my team or is that now against my religion?
• What if Tebow loses? Does that mean he has lost favor with God? Does it mean the opposing team is evil? Or does it mean there is a better Christian on the opposing team?
• What if the next big football star is a Muslim? What if his stats correspond to some important verse in the Koran? Will all the folks who started following Christianity through Tebow now start following Islam?
• What happens if Tim Tebow messes up in his personal life? If he gets a girl pregnant out of wedlock? If he is arrested for domestic abuse? If he becomes an alcoholic? What then?

I’m reminded of Jeremiah 17:5: “A curse on the man who puts his trust in man, a blessing on the man who puts his trust in the Lord.” This empty, pop-culture version of Christianity is dangerous stuff. The numerology being tossed around by my fellow Christians is even scarier. Tim Tebow is just a nice kid, doing what he was raised to do. I hope he doesn’t fall. I hope he lives a long, wholesome life. But I’m not going to follow him as a spiritual leader, ordained by God through invisible eye-black as evidenced by his passing percentage.

Several years B.T. (before Tebow), there was another NFL quarterback. Another good Christian soul who played football - Kurt Warner. He too prayed and professed his faith publicly. But he grew up and matured and realized that he might be alienating some fans through his less-than-subtle approach. In November, Warner had some advice for Tebow:

“There’s almost a faith cliche, where (athletes) come out and say, ‘I want to thank my Lord and savior.’ As soon as you say that, the guard goes up, the walls go up, and I came to realize you have to be more strategic.

The greatest impact you can have on people is never what you say, but how you live. When you speak and represent the person of Jesus Christ in all actions of your life, people are drawn to that. You set the standard with your actions. The words can come after.”

It’s that time of year again.

Time for viral Facebook statuses repeating the Fox News talking point that the liberals have declared “war on Christmas.” Time for angry letters to the editor claiming that the writer’s right to freedom of religion or freedom of speech has been infringed upon, and they have somehow been stopped from wishing everyone they encounter a “Merry Christmas.” Oy vay.

I’m only going to say this once: There is no war on Christmas.

To claim such a war exists is to betray such an ethnocentric blindness as a sane person would be ashamed to admit. If you could convert to Judaism, Islam or Buddhism for the month, you’d see just how ridiculous this claim actually is. For example, off the top of your head, do you know when Hannukah is this year? I bet your Jewish friends know when Christmas is.

So the “victims” of this “war” seem to suffer from an inability to keep government, business, and religion separate.  Not a surprise, since they usually want to combine the three when it’s convenient to them. But government really has little to do with their complaints. Sure, every year a few local governments run into opposition to a Nativity on the town square. Overall, though, governments have traditionally said and done little to address, let alone limit, expressions of Christmas spirit.  The federal government, to its credit, has kept its nose out of the debates as best it can. I’ve yet to see a law anywhere to prohibit anyone from saying “Merry Christmas.”

The Fox News crowd’s real anger should be directed at corporations.  Every year, the issues that honk off the Religious Right arise in big companies, those darlings of American conservatives. I always get a kick out of the righteous anger Wal-Mart, Best Buy and Target can drum up when they ask their employees to say “Happy Holidays” (or when they publish ads in Spanish!) from the very same folks who claim to want nothing but free rein for these job-creators!  But big companies know their customers. They know not all their customers are Christian, and no good capitalist venture wants to offend any of the people who spend American dollars in their stores! “Happy holidays” is not meant to limit employees’ right to free expression or religion; it’s just smart business (much like these companies’ decisions to open at midnight on Thanksgiving, despite the inconvenience to their employees). Hey, folks, if you want your big companies to make lots of money and be unregulated, they’re going to do whatever it takes to keep their customers content.

One of the things that really disturbs me about these “war-on-christmas” claims is the ignorance it reveals about Christians’ own religious history. Christmas is, and always has been, the greatest outreach program ever devised by the Catholic Church. True Christian conservatives, however, did not like the idea originally. When Christmas was initially established by church leaders under Emperor Constantine in 336 AD, conservative church leaders such as Origen, cried foul. To celebrate the birth of a deity smacked of Egyptian polytheism, conservatives claimed. Christmas was derided by conservative leaders as a contrived holiday, a cheap means of pandering to pagans so they would convert more docilely. More liberal Christian heads prevailed, arguing that, by celebrating Christ’s birth around the same time as the pagans already celebrated the solstice, the Church could make Christianity more appealing. It worked beautifully, and it will continue to work if we don’t try to shove it down everyone’s throat.

So my fellow Christians, here’s a radical idea: Think before you speak.

Say what’s appropriate for your situation and audience. If you’re talking to me on Christmas Day, say “Merry Christmas!” Please do. I’ll return the sentiment whole-heartedly. But if you’re a Wal-Mart greeter working on December 21^st, saying “Happy Hannukah” to everyone isn’t going to go over well. Neither should “Merry Christmas” simply because you don’t know what every person walking through that door celebrates on that day. I’ll be saying, “Happy Holidays” to my students when they leave campus on December 12. Not just because I know some of them are Jewish and Muslim, but also because I’d like to include Christmas Eve and New Year’s in the equation. And if I see you and know you share my faith on December 24^th or 25^th, I will greet you with a very hearty “Merry Christmas.”

[Need more info? See Christianity Today,The Catholic Encyclopedia, The God Article, The Fat Pastor, or my previous entry on the topic.]

I am confused.

For years, my mother and other Republican friends have berated me for voting for Democratic candidates. “How can you do that?” they demand. “Those people think it’s okay to kill babies!”

Okay, let’s get one thing straight. No one in their right mind is pro-abortion. No sane person WANTS to kill infants. So let’s just take that off the table right now.

People who are pro-choice recognize that we live in an unpredictable, difficult and dangerous world, where women in bad circumstances sometimes become pregnant. Ideally, all babies would be conceived in women who have loving partners, steady incomes, safe homes and affordable healthcare. Sadly, that is just not the case. Adoption would seem a perfect alternative; however, many women would not survive the nine months of pregnancy. Maybe it’s a high risk due to health issues or addiction. Maybe the woman is in an abusive relationship where the man would beat her for being pregnant. Maybe she has no money or health insurance, no support, no…

The point is that life is complicated. Making abortion illegal may save a few pregnancies, but at what cost? Why is the life of the unborn worth so much more than the life of the mother? Or, even more bizarrely, worth more than the life of the child after it is born?

See, this is where I’m getting really confused.

The past several weeks have seen multiple Republican presidential debates. The pro-life, Christian party that railed against the removal of Terry Schiavo’s feeding tube and has cut Planned Parenthood funding is in the spotlight as their candidates spar on stages festooned with the Stars and Stripes. But it’s not the candidates’ words that are getting the most attention.

It’s the behavior of the crowds.

First, they cheered Rick Perry’s dubious record: He’s overseen more executions than any other governor in modern times.

They cheered. Executions.

Never mind that some of those executed may have been innocent. Never mind that the Bible says  “Avenge not yourselves.”

I pointed out this rather horrifying behavior in a Facebook post and was flabbergasted when I got a response from a very mild-mannered, avidly churchgoing mom I’ve known forever: I cheer for justice. Really? You know all 234 people were guilty? Were you there for all the murders for which they were executed? Because if not, you don’t know. And there is always a chance an innocent person could be murdered by the state. (Why is that very real possibility not horrifying to conservatives who are so freaking worried about big government? Isn’t being murdered by the state worse than having the state raise your taxes?!)
Now I’m not just confused; I’m scared.

It got worse in the next debate when Wolf Blitzer posed a hypothetical question about a terminally ill, uninsured young man. Should society “let him die?” Blitzer asked. Before the candidate could answer, there were shouts from the crowd: “YES!”

This from the Republicans? This from the people who cried and prayed over poor Terry Schiavo? This from the people who echoed Sarah Palin’s and Sen. Chuck Grassley’s fears that President Obama’s healthcare bill would allow the government “to pull the plug on Grandma?” What happened to those people?

The third debate brought another stunner. A video from an admittedly gay soldier was shown, and he asked the candidates if they would reinstate “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell.” The soldier was booed by the audience.

From the yellow-ribbon-waving, “Support Our Troops” bumper-sticker crowd came the message, loud and clear: “We hate you, soldier. Go lay down your life for us on the field of battle, but expect no respect for your individual life.”

I am astonished that these people, those who cheer executions, advocate the death of the uninsured, boo self-sacrificing soldiers for who they are, brag about having enough deadly weapons to kill anyone who disagrees with their politics, these people have the reputation as “the Pro-Life party.”

For want of a better term: Bullshit.